RedHat (NYSE: RHAT), producers of the hot-selling Microsoft
alternative operating system, Linux, has
opened a chain of restaurants. This daring corporate move rides on
the heal of their IPO, which soared
over 40 points on opening day. The chain, known as, 'Foo*nix' have
already placed 7 in last weeks fast
food top ten.
"We have developed an open chain restaurant. No longer do you have
to sit in predefined tables and
chairs. Now you can position them as you, the diner, see fit!",
said public relations manager Jim 'Big Dog'
Covert.
The formula seems to be an instant success with the public, as Red
Burgers and Fries populated the
dinners of over 3 million people in the first week alone. But if
burgers don't make your mouth water, they
offer a smorgasbord of all kinds of meats, vegetables, and
desserts dubbed, 'Open Grazing.' To further
sensate the experience the building is keep at a crisp 67 degrees
Fahrenheit.
Competitors both in the fast food chain and the software industry
acknowledge the potential threat to their
corporate health and have began merging with one another, the most
famous being Microsoft and
McDonalds. The merger, estimated to be worth 4.1 billion dollars,
places no concern on Redhat. In fact its
rumored that headquarters of Redhat is riddled with posters of
'Bill McGates' with the a quote of 'The
McBlue screen of death doesn't dump on us.'
On the other side of the coin, Microsoft and McDonalds (rumored to
be released by the name of
`McMicrosofts) has slated the release of their burgers, McNT and
Mc2000 sometime in the next year or
so. Unconfirmed rumors state that McMicrosofts' burgers are
undigestible and extremely hard to eat due
to their lack of consistently.
At a recent Press Conference, Michael Shipit, lead line cook for
McMicrosofts, said, "If we release now,
our corporate entities believe we will have to produce a patch to
update our lines. Although, personally, I
disagree. Its ready now!", said Shipit as he served up McNT beta
burgers to all that attended, 3 of whom
are still suffering from unpredictable and random headaches.
